sounds like rain

a crack in the doorway and instead of light
only darkness spills out onto the hardwood floor
oily and putrid and thick
unlike that of a clear summer’s night
which she so hoped it would be

her skin sweats and her insides wilt
but there is nothing better than the feeling
of complete and utter nothing
that comes with this kind of pleasure
what could be?

she looks up at the sky and he is gone
he is not there, no one is
she laughs at the sky instead
at its jokes and she wants to shout at it,
“are you jealous?”

wet floor creaks beneath her feet
and it’s the smell of poison that brings a smile to her face
“be like me,” they’d all said. “this is better”
it poisons her insides and it’s better
she smiles so much it hurts

she spits at the sky
but it comes falling back on her
before she can wipe it away it begins to rain
grass wet beneath her toes and she feels a tingle of pleasure
it’s different

she doesn’t see eyes when she looks into their eyes
she doesn’t find the humor in their laughter
“you want to be like me.”
she attaches a question mark to the statement
and finds herself longing for an answer

everywhere she goes there is nothing
she cannot see
they hand her a glass and he pulls her into darkness again
“you want to be like me?”
but when her answer comes, she cannot say it

she stares up at the ceiling another night
once she is herself again
and hears the breathing steady beside her
“do you want to be like me?”
the steady darkness looks back at her
rain drops on the open windowsill and she cherishes the sound

her face is wet beneath the sky but there no clouds
“i miss you” she says into the grass
she cannot look up
“i wish” she begins but she cannot finish

a series of nights, another one
the poison tastes like poison
a grimace that is not lead away

she looks up to the sky and she misses him
the pools leak dry
the stars sparkle in her eyes instead
a glimmer of beauty
in time


 

Ever since I heard the song “Hey Angel” by One Direction I’ve been trying to write something to it and after many drafts of stories I think, with a little push from another song (listed below) a poem will have to suffice instead. The song is much more upbeat than this poem, I promise you, but I like angst.

So, inspiration-

Hey Angel by One Direction

Somebody Else- The 1975

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